I am not sure if at that moment or weeks or months after, we realized how much life would change. At that point we were two, living carefree deciding to do things in an instant like going to a movie that started in ten minutes. I guess you could say we were doing what we wanted, when we wanted.
We started planning for this bundle of joy. We both enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy even the insomnia and heartburn. Of course, we kept Sonic in business. I look back on my pregnancy and remember it as a blissful time. There are many days that I miss being pregnant. I miss being able to eat what I want without feeling guilty, I miss placing my hands on my stomach, I miss kicks and hiccups and I miss how nice everyone is to you; especially strangers.
Through my pregnancy I felt like we were going to have a boy that looked just like Blake. I always felt like the baby would come in March;not April. We did have a March boy who looks just like Blake, but with brown hair. We named our mini Blake, Timothy Camp Startup.
Throughout the pregnancy we started preparing the nursery, collecting baby items and purchasing clothes. My friends and loved ones tried to prepare us for how hard the first two weeks would be. After Camp arrived we left the nice quiet hospital with a beautiful baby boy that was content and breastfeeding great. About 11pm that night things changed! What have we done! He’s crying-we don’t know why etc. We had no idea what everyone meant until we were in the first two weeks. I look back at pictures now and realize I looked like death. I quickly came to realize why you don’t’ see many pictures of new moms outside of the hospital. Now I realize why you never hear anyone say breastfeeding is a breeze and/or easy!!!
After the first two weeks we became a family on a routine. We were creating a new normal for our family of four. We began quickly learning about blow outs on our clothes and in diapers, spit-up, late nights, middle of the nights and early morning feedings. Through all this we encountered, Blake and I never realized that we’d encounter such a love for each other and Camp. We didn’t know that our hearts could hold so much love for someone who can’t even talk to us and who we’ve known for such a short time. 
It seems now through all the tears, spit up and everything we could not prepare for-I want to hold Camp longer, rock him longer, talk to him more, kiss him all over, provide a joyful home for him, capture every smile he provides, listen to him giggle over and over, show him Christ and show him love. As I write this, my heart wants to leap out of my chest as I want to hold him so bad. I want to hold him so tight that he will never know wrong, speak wrong or be hurt. If I could keep him at this age and protect him from all evil I would.
It has been a whirlwind these past four months. Life has changed but at the same time stayed the same. Camp had to adapt to our lifestyle and us to his. I now know why individuals who have children move close to grandparents.
Many lessons have been learned such as mom always eats last, laundry is never ending, the house may not always be perfectly clean because it’s not a priority anymore, bedtime for adults is later and waking up time is earlier, plans change quickly and flexibility is always a must and spit-up and a diaper bag are my new accessories.
I think the one most important lesson both Blake and I've learned thus far is that being parents, especially a mom, is the most selfless job we, and I, will ever hold. I learned it quickly when I was pregnant and growing. Like many, I was complaining to my doctor about the weight I gained. She looked me in the eye and said, “Get over it! You’re having a baby!” At that point it hit me that this life that I now know is not about me anymore.
I continue to learn this lesson each day. Of course there are times that I want to be selfish and take a long bath, go to the gym, buy clothes or a purse and have some Trish and Blake time. BUT I (we) have a child whose needs are and will always be more important than mine (ours). It’s no longer about me (us). I think that’s the best lesson I (we) could have learned. It’s a lesson of true love.
I recently read the below and felt like it captured the lessons learned thus far:“Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.”
For now it is my prayer and heart’s desire to live for the gospel and to sacrifice for the men in my life.
